730 days

730 days

Emilee Franklin
730 days of seeing your face in my nightmares, flashbacks, and just random thoughts. There hasn’t been a day unfortunately where I haven’t thought about the day you raped me. Of the 730 days many of them were filled with so much anxiety I was not able to sleep, or sleep well, and would become physically ill to my stomach throughout much of the day. 730 days of wondering why me, what I did wrong to deserve this yet feeling lucky that I survived that night, and am still alive to tell my story. I thought that night two years ago was going to my last night, and did everything in my power to survive. I thought you were going to kill me one way or another, I survived. 730 days of thinking if I had done one thing differently, ran, screamed louder, or had been slightly stronger, I may have been able to fight you off of me. If I had known about how to report a Rape in another country or that after an assault you are not supposed to shower, or wash your bedding as I did, because of how violated and disgusting you made me feel I may have had more of a case against you. Instead I made sure that I was in class on time the next morning, only hours after my assault the next day scared to death, thinking that everyone was judging me, for one reason or another. Since that night I had countless hours at the police station, hospital, and counseling. I have taken hundreds of pills for my PTSD, Depression, and Anxiety, but still have not given up. I have had many suicidal thoughts and much difficulty just participating in regular life. When I faced opposition with my school, and own court case was turned down due to lack of evidence, as most cases are I did not and have not given up. I have preserved. I do not want you to have the chance to hurt anyone the way you hurt me, and knowing yourself now, if given any opportunity you will strike again, and it is disgusting. I considered you a friend. Much to your dismay, although you did take a part of me that night two years ago, you did not win, nor will you. I am strong. I am intelligent. I will win. I will make sure that in all of my power that you will not be able to hurt anyone else. Since that time I have graduated college with my final semester with a 4.0, studied abroad again in China, and worked for 6 months in China. Although I am extremely cautious, I am not afraid and will continue to travel and enjoy my life, you cannot take that away from me. I hope that you had 730 days to think of your actions, and what you put me through. I hope you had to answer questions from your family that made you as uncomfortable as I felt having my private parts photographed for evidence, or having to tell and recount my story hundreds of times over on how if you impregnated me, you would take me to have an abortion. I hope you had to answer to your girlfriend, and children why the police came to your residence, and had questions for you. Although I do not know the details I hope you told your family, community, and police the truth. If you didn’t I really hope through time the guilt will set in, so that you will change your actions, and teach your son not to be a rapist like yourself. I really hope you have to think of me every day as much as I think of your disgusting face, and disposition, on what a mistake you made, and what trauma you caused. I hope that night you took a piece a way from me eats at you, and changes you for the better. F*** you for thinking you had power over me. F*** you for Raping me. F*** you for thinking you did nothing wrong and that raping people is ok. F*** you for telling lies about me wanting to be with you, I never did. I hope you burn in Hell. F*** you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One thought on “730 days

  1. Emilee, I want you to know how much I love you. Grand Ma and I are very proud of you. We are praying for your complete healing We are very disappointed in St Scholastica Love, Grand Pa

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Like

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